a vestige of thought...
Monday, July 31, 2006
Pride and Prejudice
P&P: Happily Ever After
Invisible Preacher: "We are gathered together today in the sight of God to... et cetera, et cetera... 'I do,' 'I do'... et cetera, et cetera... I now pronounce you men and wifes!"
Mr. Bingley: "I love you, Jane."
Jane: "I love you, ... uh... Mr. Bingley. What's your first name?"
Mr. Darcy: "I love you, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth: "I love you Fitzy."
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
Blue Barbie: "Awwww!!!"
Pink Barbie: "That's so cute! Let's watch it again!"
Blue Barbie: "Mr. Darcy! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Pink Barbie: "*sigh*"
White Barbie: "*yawn* What!? What happened? What did I miss?"
Kitty: "Look, here come Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy again."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh girls! Oh Mr. Bingley! Hooray!"
Mr. Bingley: "Miss Bennet, I wonder if you and your sisters might like to go for a stroll about the countryside with Darcy and myself."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh what a lovely idea! Of course they would!"
Mary: "My time is much better spent practicing, thank you."
Jane: "The rest of us will go with you."
Kitty: "Lizzy, would it be alright if I stopped here to call on Maria Lucas?"
Elizabeth: "Yes, I suppose that would be alright."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to thank you on behalf of my family for what you did for Lydia. If they only knew how indebted we are to you..."
Mr. Darcy: "Please... If you thank me let it be for yourself only. I believe I thought only of you."
Elizabeth: "We should catch up with Jane and Mr. Bingley."
Mr. Darcy: "No, let them go on ahead."
Mr. Darcy: "My aunt paid me a visit while she was here, shortly after her visit to you, I believe."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy-"
Mr. Darcy: "It taught me to hope as I never dared to hope before. If your feelings are what they were last April, let me know at once. My feelings and wishes are unchanged."
Elizabeth: "I... Mr. Darcy, my feelings are so much different from what they were then that... I believe they are now quite the opposite."
Elizabeth: "But there is one thing."
Mr. Darcy: "What's that?"
Elizabeth: "I... don't think I could ever marry someone who carries a light saber. It's just a little freaky. I mean, your general gentlemanly charm is overpowering, but the creapy glowing weapon kind of cancels it out."
Mr. Darcy: "I've carried this since I was a boy. It was a gift from my father. He told me to use it to keep Wickham in line. I guess I don't really need it anymore. Just the thought of me strikes fear in the heart of Mr. Wickham now."
Elizabeth: "You mean you would give it up for me?"
Mr. Darcy: "I would do anything for you, Miss Elizabeth."
Elizabeth: "Oh Fitzy! May I call you Fitzy?"
Sunday, July 30, 2006
P&P: Lady Catherine Visits
Mary: "La dee da dee da dee da dee daaaaa, la de daaaa, la de daaaa..."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh Mary can't you sit quietly for five minutes together together?! Have some compassion for my poor nerves!"
Mary: "But it's the *think system*! I have to do this all day!"
Kitty: "Look! Oh come quickly for there is such a sight to be seen! Look at the carriage!"
Elizabeth: "It's Lady Catherine!"
Lady Catherine: "Hello Miss Bennet. What a small house you have."
Elizabeth: "Lady Catherine-"
Lady Catherine: "And these, I suppose, are your family. How very short they all are."
Elizabeth: "Your Ladyship-"
Lady Catherine: "This must be a most inconvenient sitting room in the summer. The windows are full west!"
Elizabeth: "Yes but-"
Lady Catherine: "There seems to be a prettyish sort of little wilderness on one side of your park, Miss Bennet. I wonder if you would take a turn about it with me."
Lady Catherine: "Let me state myself plainly: Not only are you poor and ugly, but your family completely lack any form of good breeding. Your sisters are silly, one of them is a loose woman, your mother is a fool, and your father has absolutely no connections. You are too opinionated. You do not deserve to walk the good green earth. What the heck are you doing becoming engaged to my nephew?!"
Elizabeth: "Your Ladyship, I do not know where you hear such rumors, but your nephew and I have no formal attachment."
Lady Catherine: "Reeeeeeally. And will you promise never to enter into such an arrangement?"
Elizabeth: "I will do no such thing."
Lady Catherine: "Selfish, headstrong girl! No good will come of this, you will see. Goodbye! I take no leave of you and send no compliments to your mother. Shame!"
Elizabeth: "Uh, goodbye. Oh my. This is most perplexing."
P&P: Mr. Bingley's Return
Family: "Hum dee dum dum dum."
Kitty: "Look- out the window! Mr. Bingley is back! Oh, but he has that other fellow with him. What was his name? The proud disagreeable fellow with the light saber."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy?"
Kitty: "Yes, I think that's right."
Mrs. Bennet: "Mr. Darcy! What was Bingley thinking bringing around a disagreeable man like that? I'm always afraid he's going to lop someone's head off with that glowing stick thing. He's never going to get married if he keeps carrying that thing around! But- if our Bingley likes him, then we shall be absolutely civil to him. That's right! Absolutely civil."
Elizabeth: "Jane, dear, are you going to be alright?"
Jane: "Yes, Lizzy, I think so. I do not fear my own feelings, only what others would expect of me."
Elizabeth: "Then you do not love him anymore?"
Mrs. Bennet: "Oooh! Mr. Bingley! How good it is to see you again. We had all begun to despair that you were never to set foot at Netherfield again! But of course, I never doubted you. I knew you would come back! Did I not say so often, Lizzy? Yes, I said, he will come back and when he does he will be most welcome to come to Longbourne as often as he pleases! Ooh yes. *pause* Mr. Darcy. Of course you are always welcome too."
Mr. Bingley:"I'm so glad I am able to return. It is so lovely here."
Mrs. Bennet: "Yes it certainly is! Especially with my Jane here, don't you think?"
Mr. Bingly: "Yes indeed. Mrs. Bennet, might I have a moment alone with Jane?"
Mrs. Bennet: "But of course! Everyone, out! Out! Take your time Mr. Bingley."
Mr. Bingley: "Miss Bennet, I wonder if I might, um, that is, I wonder if you would, uh, well, see..."
Mr. Bingley kneels: "Miss Bennet, I wonder if you would do me the honor of sharing my trophy with me... that is... will you marry me?"
Jane: "Of course! Yes! Yes! ...Can I hold the flag too?"
Mrs. Bennet: "Ooh Jane! Ooh Bingley! I am so happy! Two daughters married! And one quite wealthy! Oh it is a situation most devoutly to be wished! Congratulations my dear."
Jane: "Mr. Bingley, are you quite certian you want to marry me and with the risk of living with a mother-in-law like that?"
Bingley: "It is quite alright my dear. I'm already looking into purchasing an estate quite a distance from Longbourne."
P&P: What Mr. Darcy Did
Mr. Bennet: "I've just had a letter from Mr. Gardiner. He has found Lydia and Wickham and they are married."
Mrs. Bennet: "Ooh, my Lydia! I always knew she would marry well! I'm so proud of her! And Wickham for a son! I couldn't be happier."
Elizabeth: "Mama, please! Don't you realize that Lydia has still greatly disgraced herself and us?"
Mrs. Bennet: "Lizzy, how can you think of something so droll as that when dear Lydia is married!"
Jane: "Papa, what is it? What are you not telling us?"
Mr. Bennet: "I can't imagine what your uncle must have done to get Wickham to marry Lydia. He agreed for so small a price on my part... Gardiner must have paid him a fortune. How am I ever to repay him?"
Lydia: "Oh Lizzy, if only you could have been there! It would have been a lovely wedding, except so few people were there! Just the two of us and Aunt and Uncle Gardiner and that horrid Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Dacry?! Why was Mr. Darcy at your wedding?"
Lydia: "Oh, but I forgot! It was supposed to be such a secret! No one was supposed to know! My goodness, Lizzy, you musn't tell anyone."
Dear Aunt Gardiner, Lydia let something slip yesterday and I just cannot rest until it is explained to me. Please, how is it that Mr. Darcy of all people came to be at her wedding?
My Dear Lizzy, If you are indeed in the dark about Mr. Darcy's involvement, let me enlighten you immediately. Darcy came to meet my husband shortly after we arrived home in London. He told us that with his connections, he could discover Wickham's whereabouts with little difficulty. He succeeded in doing this, but did not stop there. He went on to provide a handsome sum to Wickham as Lydia's dowry to pay for the entire wedding. Nothing would be done that he did not do himself, leaving your uncle to do nothing but take credit for Darcy's generosity. Lizzy, I am afraid we were all completely deceived in our original judgements of Mr. Darcy. He is indeed the very best sort of man. Even with his light saber obcession.
Elizabeth: "Oh my goodness!"
My internet is temporarily (hopefully more than temporarily!) back in action. I've finished taking all my P&P pictures and will do my best to get the rest of the story up before I collapse at the end of the day. To tide you over until I get the story up, here is the picture of my grilled cheese sandwich:
And here is Mia and me having some fun after everyone else went to bed last night. Actually, it is me having fun and Mia just sort of going along for the ride/
#49 We Made It!
Thank you to all those who, though unable to sponsor me with money, have prayed for me and sent me encouraging notes. Your words mean so much!
Thanks to everyone who chatted with me last night and/or left comments on my blog. It was things like that that kept me going!
Thanks to everyone who stopped by my blog, whether I was aware of it or not.
Thanks to my family who have been hugely supportive and helpful through the whole thing.
Thanks to all the Blogathon monitors/administrators/etc, especially to Kentucky Gurl, who was such an encouragement to me all night long.
Thanks to my cat who did a wonderful job keeping me entertained.
Thanks to the guy at Panera who never fails to make me smile when he sells me coffee. Today smiling = being a bit more awake.
And to anyone else I might have forgotten who deserves thanks, thank you! I apologize if I've forgotten anyone important. You'll have to forgive me, as I'm a little incoherant at this point.
And of course, thank you to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ for blessing my efforts far beyond anything I could have hoped or imagined. I am forever amazed by the abundance of Your blessings. My cup runneth over!
"Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." Ephesians 4:20
My family is awake again. :)
My fingers aren't working. Haha. I think, "type this" and the wrong finger presses the wrong key. It makes posting anything at all, much less anything that remptely makes sense, quite difficult.
I just hopped over to Panera and bought some artificial alertness (do you suppose that's like artificial happiness? I saw an interview by a guy who wrote a book on artificial happiness.) Hopefully that will keep me going through church and then I can crash.
#47 The Sun is Shining
It's funny how quickly the time passed yesterday morning, really all of yesterday, on through, oh, about the time my internet quit this morning. Now it's trudging merrily long. At a nice slow pace.
I was pretty wide awake until... about 7:00 this morning. Now I'm propping my eyelids open with toothpicks. I am the little engine that could. I *think* I can, I *think* I can, I *think* I can.
We're in the home stretch!
#46 Fan fiction should be outlawed
I'm feeling grumpy. Must... hold... out!
My TV is going wavy. Actually, it's the tape. I think it had been recorded over to the point of death.
#44 The Rainbow
Red- candle on the mantle, wrist support pad things for the keyboard and mouse
Orange- the post-it notes I used to label all the P&P characters, burned CD on the piano
Yellow- Lego heads, squeaky baseball chew toy
Green- bin full of legos, notebook and folders on the school shelf (my siblings both homeschool and I did before I graduated)
Blue- the background of my blog, wrap-around leg weights
Purple- more weights and a Polly Pocket dress
Pink- another candle on the mantle, Barbie clothes box
Black- Remote control, treadmill, guitar case
Brown- carpet, bookcase
White- my laptop, the table I'm working on
Silver- my camera, pair of scissors
Gold- one of my rings, the dog's fur
Clear- water glass
# 43 Bah!
#42 Early Morning TV
PBS -Antiques Road Show
EWTN- some preacher guy
KET (another PBS station)- show on volcanoes
Oxygen- "abdoer" infomercial
WE - colon cleansing product (really gross)
Bravo- exercise video infomercial
Disney- Lilo and Stitch: the series
i- some black and white movie where they're riding black horses
WGN- some home makeover show
FOX- infomercial for something, but I'm not sure what it is
Local access- a really old (but pretty cool) video of a violinist playing a song that is familiar to me, but I don't remember the name
C-Span- Homeland Security House Appropriations Subcommittee
NBC- some home-improvement, do it yourself type show
ABC- show on internet commerce
C-Span 2- Author lecture- Anthony Arthur (wrote "Radical Innocent: Upton Sinclair)
WB- Get Rich Quick work from home sort of thing
CBS- commercials for some poetic-sounding science and health books...now the guy is reading from the Bible... I can't quite tell what it's for. The screen says "call now for FREE science and health"
#41 Grilled Things
I'm thinking (not seriously, but I'm thinking) of putting together a book of grilled sandwich recipes. I've a pretty good grilled turkey sandwich (with horseradish, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, and mushrooms) that I really like, and I've recently come up with a pizza grilled cheese, made with mozzarella cheese, fresh tomatoes, and pizza spices. The one I made tonight was just bread and cheddar cheese. It was still yummy, though!
Let's see if I can get the internet to stay connected long enough to post this. Can't you smell that grilled cheese? Mmmmm.
#40 I might strangle someone
I'm hungry. What's good to eat this time of night? I'm kind of in the mood for grilled cheese...
#39 My Time of Day
That's all I remember. It's from Guys and Dolls.
I took a quick, very cold shower and brushed my teeth again. The shower reminded me of Nicaragua, where we had no hot water and had to take freezing showers every day, which reminded me of why I'm doing this. I'm beginning to really appreciate cold showers.
My internet connection is still going in and out. Yuck. The downtime seems to be a lot shorter now than it was earlier, but I still don't appreciate it.
Mom came down to say 'hi' and is now sitting with me reading a freaky book about fast food. Eew.
#38 What Lizzy Learns
Jane: "Dear Lizzy, I am so glad you are home! Our mother's nerves are threatening to overwhelm her."
Elizabeth: "I will see her as soon as I bring my things in."
Jane: "Uncle, you will meet my father in London, won't you?"
Mr. Gardiner: "Don't you worry, Jane. I know London like the back of my hand. If they are there, we will find them."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh Lizzy! I am so glad you are come home! Of course your uncle Gardiner will find my Lydia. For who else should it be? Who else but her own family? Oooh girls! My nerves... such flutterings and spasms all over me! Oh- Jane! My smelling salts! Ooohhhh!"
Elizabeth: "Mama, calm yourself! Papa and Uncle Gardiner have everything under control."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh, but you must tell your uncle to find your father and make sure he does not fight Mr. Wickham! I am so afraid they will duel and Wickham will kill my poor husband and then those Collinses will come and turn us out in the cold. Ooooh Jane! Oooo Lizzy!"
Jane: "Elizabeth, how was your trip? Aunt Gardiner said you ran into Mr. Darcy! Was it very horrible?"
Elizabeth: "Oh Jane, don't worry about that now. I am very sure that none of us will ever see Mr. Darcy or his light saber ever again."
#37 Former All-Nighters
I've got both dogs in here with me, but they're asleep. I'm gonna go find the cat before my next post, as she's a little more lively. And then I'll do some jumping jacks.
Anyone know what time Panera opens on Sunday mornings?
#36 Lizzy Gets Bad News
Elizabeth: "Aunt, would you mind terribly if I stayed behind? I haven't had a letter from Jane in weeks and I would really like to read this one."
Mrs. Gardiner: "No problem. Mr. Gardiner and I will walk to the church and check back for you in an hour."
Elizabeth: "Thank you."
Dear Lizzy, I'm afraid I have bad news. Do not be alarmed; we are all well. It is only Lydia's foolishness. In her thoughtlessness she has eloped, has thrown herself into the mercy, of Mr. Wickham. We had at first thought they had gone to Scotland, but now we fear that they are not married at all and are instead hiding in London. Our father has gone to town to look for them and he sends word for our Uncle Garniner to meet him there as soon as possible. Our mother is quite beside herself with worry. Please, Lizzy, come home as soon as you are able. Your dear sister, Jane.
Elizabeth: "Of course! Of course we must leave at once. Aunt! Uncle!"
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy!"
Mr. Darcy: "Miss Bennet! Elizabeth, are you alright? You look distressed. How can I- Is there anything I can do?"
Elizabeth: "I must find my aunt and uncle right away."
Mr. Darcy: "Yes, certainly."
Mr. Darcy: "Miss Elizabeth, please, what happened?"
Elizabeth: "It's Lydia. She has run off with Mr. Wickham. They are hiding in London. Oh, Mr. Darcy, what am I to do?"
Mr. Darcy: "I knew I should have lopped his head off while I had the chance! What is being done to find him?"
Elizabeth: "My father has gone to London and requests that my uncle meet him there as soon as possible."
Mr. Darcy: "I fear you have long been desiring my absence. I will send you aunt and uncle this way if I see them."
Elizabeth: "Aunt! Uncle! Oh what a mess this is! Oh what he must think of me now. Oh dear, oh dear!"
Mrs. Gardiner: "Don't worry, dear, your uncle will take care of everything. Let's back up and go home."
#35 The First Yawn
A guy selling some "super-duper" vitamin. Throughout the commercial are people who (obviously scripted) ask "Free? They're really giving away a free bottle?" "Free?! It must be good!"
Dr. Franks super joint pain stuff. For $19.95 you can have a bottle of some stuff you spray in your mouth that's supposed to heal any ache or pain you have.
A plethora of weight-loss products. The worst of these is probably one of a wife of a soldier who lost weight while he was in Iraq. Don't ge me wrong, I have the upmost respect for our troops in Iraq, but this guy is not an actor and neither is his wife and I don't care how much weight they've lost, they don't need to waste our time by being on TV
A rather odd actress talking about the Sleep Number Bed. She has a really funny way of talking that I find pretty annoying.
Some medicine for men with high blood pressure that leads to ED. I don't particularly want to hear about that.
Oh! And the worst one is "Bill Keller her eto tell you about Live Prayer." Apparently there's some show on really late where they pray, live on tv. What bothers me is that guy SO looks like he's mocking when he says it. The way he moves and talks just makes me shudder. Ick.
That's why I tape the show: I can fast forward through the commercials.
#34 Mr. Darcy- Take Two (Enter Georgiana)
Mr. Darcy: "Miss Elizabeth! How long have you been in this part of the country? I mean- how are you? How is your family?"
Elizabeth: "We are all quite well, thank you. I am touring the country with my aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner."
Mr. Darcy: "Excellent. I hope you are having a pleasant trip. And your family are quite well?"
Elizabeth: "Yes, quite well."
Mr. Darcy: "Good. That's good. Excuse me."
Elizabeth: "Oh what he must think of me! I am such a fool for even coming here! We must leave immediately!"
Mrs. Gardiner: "Elizabeth, dear, when did you begin to care what Mr. Darcy thinks of you? But certainly, we shall leave directly."
Elizabeth: "Oh, I don't know, I don't know!"
Mr. Darcy: "Elizabeth, wait! *ahem* Wait! Please, I apologize for my abruptness. Have you been given a proper tour around the lake?"
Elizabeth: "No, I'm sorry, we have not seen the lake. But I'm afriad we must be going-"
Mr. Gardiner: "Nonsense, we have all the time in the world! Lead on, Mr. Darcy!"
Mr. Darcy: "Mr. Gardiner, do you enjoy fishing?"
Mr. Gardiner: "Well, er, I mean, I suppose. I don't eat much meat, though. I'm rather a vegetarian."
Mr. Darcy: "Ah yes, of course. How silly of me. I have a lovely carrot patch just over that hill yonder. You are welcome to enjoy my carrots any time you wish."
Mr. Gardiner: "Why thank you! What a capital fellow!"
Mr. Darcy: "Miss Elizabeth, there is one among the party just arrived at Pemberly who especailly wishes to meet you. May I have the pleasure of introducing you to my sister, Georgiana?"
Elizabeth: "Yes, I would like that very much."
Elizabeth: "Georgiana, it is such a pleasure to meet you. I have heard so many good things about you! I understand you are quite an accomplished pianist."
Georgiana: "Thank you, Miss Elizabeth. My brother is too kind in his appraisal of me. I cannot play half as well as he says *you* play."
Elizabeth: "Me? Why I don't know where your brother gets such ideas."
Georgiana: "My brother is never wrong."
Mr. Darcy: "Miss Bennet, Mr and Mrs Gardiner, my sister and I were wondering if you would care to dine with us at Pemberly while you are here. Would tomorrow evening be alright?"
Mr. Gardiner: "Certainly, good sir! We would love to dine with you and your lovely sister!"
Mr. Darcy: "Excellent! I shall have an especially grand carrot dish prepared for you, sir."
Mr. Gardiner: "Capital!"
#33 Lizzy and the Gardiners Take a Trip
Mrs. Gardiner: "Lizzy you simply must come with us when we go on our trip to the countryside. You look a bit peaked lately. The fresh air and change of scenery will do you some good."
Elizabeth: "I would love to come, for what are men to rocks and mountains!"
Mr. Gardiner: "When were we talking about men?"
Elizabeth: "I don't know, but doesn't that sound profound?"
"Merrily we roll along..."
Elizabeth: "Whose house is that?"
Mrs. Gardiner: "Don't you know? That's Pemberly, Mr. Darcy's house."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy?!"
Mr. Gardiner: "Yes, certainly. Shall we inquire to the housekeeper about a tour?"
Elizabeth: "But- is the family at home?"
Mrs. Gardiner: "Oh, certainly not this time of year."
Elizabeth: "Well, I guess that would be okay."
Housekeeper: "And this was Mrs. Darcy's favorite room. Shall I take you to the gallery? There are some lovely paintings of my master in there. He's such a good guy. Not only tall, dark and handsome, but so good and gentle and generous. Not another like him in all the world."
Mrs. Gardiner (to Lizzy): "This is not at all like the report we heard of him. What do you make of it, Lizzy?"
Elizabeth: "Perhaps we were deceived."
Mrs. Gardiner: "Yes, perhaps."
Housekeeper: "And there is my master. Is he not a fine-looking young man?"
Elizabeth: "He certainly is."
Mrs. Gardiner: "But who is that other fellow? He looks familiar."
Housekeeper: "That? Oh, that is Mr. Wickham. He was a particular favorite of the elder Mr. Darcy, but he has turned out to be very wild indeed. A sad story, his is."
Mrs. Gardiner: "Here again, we hear such different reports!"
Elizabeth: "Thank you for the tour. This house will always have a special place in my heart."
Housekeeper: "You are most welcome."
Mrs. Gardiner: "Let's walk back to the carraige now."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy!"
Mr. Darcy (at the sametime): "Miss Elizabeth!"