a vestige of thought...

After I commented that someone I know takes everything I say way too seriously and likes to drone on and on about a subject that I was joking about:
Mom: There are times when you just have to smile and nod.
Lisa (the ever-wise 10-year-old): And then there are times that you smile and nod and turn away and roll your eyes

I love my church! Or rather, I love the church. The Body of Christ is amazing. Yesterday Northminster combined its four services (two traditional and two contemporary) into one service, followed by a congregational meeting and a lunch. I normally attend the 9:00 contemporary service (Crosspoint) in Founder's Hall. Yesterday's service was in the sanctuary and was a combination of traditional and contemporary worship styles. Some ladies behind me complained throughout the service about this combination, but I loved it. It was so cool to worship in different ways with such a variety of people. The Body of Christ is, after all, not made up of one kind of person or one manner of music. What really struck me was reciting the Lord's Prayer with a couple hundred other people. Obviously I've done this before, but it seemed new to me yesterday. At first I simply heard my own voice, rotely reciting, "Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name." And then I heard the elderly woman next to me speaking in her warbly voice along with mine: "Thy Kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven." Then I realized that I could hear individual voices of several people around me: "Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." And finally, when I took my concentration off my immediate surroundings, I could hear the the entire church praying with one voice as one body: "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever." Amen.

* * * * *

I made the mistake today of looking at my schedule for the week and I nearly collapsed into a defeated heap and refused to get up until March.

Here is my lost post. I saved it as a draft on accident.

Time is weird. I can't taste or touch or smell it as it passes. I can measure it, but I can't see it or hear it. I can sit completely still and hold my breath, but it goes just as quickly as when I'm so busy I barely have time to eat. No matter how hard I try to slow them down, the next seven months are going to go just as quickly as the last seven.

Someone decided that they would enjoy watching me squirm as I try to talk my way through some eight thousand schedule conflicts in the month of February. The most notable of these conflicts, though by no means the only, occur February 12 and February 23-25. Some moron (but I didn't say that) scheduled Finneytown's musical the same weekend as Cincinnati's Fine Arts Sampler weekend. As a result, on February 12 I have a BAYSO concert at 1:30 and musical at 2:00. If I had my way, I would do musical in a heartbeat. It's the last musical of my senior year, and I don't want to miss it! However, I'm a section leader at BAYSO and I missed the last concert due to my wrist. So after talking to directors of both activities, I have come up with a compromise. I will be playing the first half of the BAYSO concert (the part that is not combined with CSYO) and then dashing to Finneytown to play in the second half of the musical. It's not what I would have chosen, but at least all the authorities are content about it.

February 23-25 I was supposed to attend two scholarship competitions (Transylvania University competition from early on the 23-afternoon 24 and Asbury, late on the 23- early 25), an orchestra concert (evening 23) and state orchestra contest (either the 24 or 25). Obviously I couldn't do all of those things. After much stress, I decided to drop the Transy competition. I sent back the letter to Transy saying I'm no longer interested and Mom sent the $200 check to Asbury to confirm my place in the incoming class. It's official. I'm an Asburian! Anyway, it now appears that I will be playing in the orchestra concert Thursday evening (again, I can't skip it because I missed the last one due to my wrist), driving to Asbury late that evening. I'll stay there for the competition and then (if contest is on Saturday) I'll leave in time to get back for that. It's gonna be nuts (and I don't imagine I'll sleep much that weekend).

My laptop is here, by the way. : ) It sings to me, to the tune of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" I can ask it, "Computer, what time is it?" or "Computer, tell me a joke" and it does. Hehe. Pretty snazzy.

I went to Panera today to use their Wi-Fi. It was excellent. I downloaded a bunch of stuff that collectively took about five minutes. It would have taken a couple of hours with my dial-up connection here. Hooray for Panera! My lunch there was excellent too. ; )

I could have sworn that I posted here somewhere around Thursday. Hmm. I wonder where that post went.

I'm sleepy. I stayed up until 1:30ish after the rather atypical coffeehouse last night. I was amazingly awake when I got up at 7:00 for work this morning. In fact, I was awake all day today until... about five minutes ago.

Work was pretty nuts. For some reason we kept running out of fries and we were always behind. Fortunately everyone was in pretty good spirits. But I burned myself on the fry slot heater thing and the different kind of sanitizer that we used to clean today made my skin break out. So I'm not touching that kind of sanitizer anymore.

My computer has arrived! It came on Wednesday. I'm enjoying it immensley.

I was sort of supposed to be working on my Learning Tree homework, but I got distracted (what else is new?) Now my brain has shut down. I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

I have a new AIM screen name. I have been PixiePaw06 for much too long. I'm quite tired of it. Musicalily was already taken, or I would have used that. After many, many tries to get something similar to 'chrysanthemum' that wasn't already taken (and without adding numbers on the end) I have come up with chrysandth3mum. I shall probably use both chrysandth3mum and pixiepaw06 interchangeably for awhile, but if you happen to see me signed on chrysandth3mum, please IM me so I can add you to my buddy list. This way I can ensure that the people on my buddy list are actually people that I talk to. :)

By the way, there is a reason behind the chrysanthemum names (on AIM and on MySpace). Some time ago Heather and I came up with pseudonyms to use if we ever published a book. She named me Chrysanthemum Honey, or Chrys for short. I like it quite a bit, though it's now useless as a secret pseudonym. ;)

Dad bought and installed a new hard drive for our computer and has gradually been re-installing all of our old stuff on it. Yesterday he downloaded AIM. It's not the same version that we used to have, however. Instead of whatever we had before, we now have AIM Triton (insert trumpet fanfare here). I hate it. Perhaps, as my father tells me, I just need to give it more time and actually figure out how to use it. All I know is that (among other things) it now takes me 3-4 clicks to read buddy info, whereas it used to take me one, and I cannot figure out how to see how long a person has been online, how long they have been idle, etc. The alerts don't seem to do anything that doesn't happen for all buddies. (It used to make a little box pop up with a cash register sound.) I want my old version back. Humph. I intend to see if I can find the old version to download somewhere. If I am unsuccessful, I shall go pout in the corner for a bit before giving in and using Triton anyway.

I just washed my hair in about 30 seconds. I do believe that's a record for me.

The ability to track packages online is very nifty. Thanks to the person who thought up such a service, I have learned that my computer is in Sacramento, California in the care of Fed Ex and is due to arrive on Wednesday. The computer's case is in Sharonville, OH (though it started out somewhere in PA) and should arrive Monday via UPS. Cool.

I have discovered recently that I remember my dreams less when I am stressed. Most of the time I forget my dreams as soon as I wake up. However, if I make an effort to review everything I can remember immediately upon waking I generally remember the dream for the rest of the day. When I'm stressed, though, I don't feel like making this effort. It is an unfortunate thing.

This is a cool website, mostly. The only problem is that all the shirts I like are out of stock. Andrea has the very nifty one of a carton of milk holding the hand of a chocolate chip cookie that is saying, "I love you." Hehe.

I had mint cookies and cream ice cream from Graeter's today. It was nearly as good (but not quite) as making my own with Heather.

This has been an interesting week. Interesting in a not-so-great way. I'm glad it's over.

And that's all there is. There isn't anymore.

Remember on Monday when I said 4-7 business days? I was wrong. It's now 6-9 business days from today. I'm being patient.

I went running today. Outside, too, not on the treadmill. It felt fantastic, even though I only got about a block before having to walk and think, 'Oi, I'm out of shape!' I was pretty good about running in the fall, but I have become lax over the winter. I severely admonished myself and told myself that I really need to run more often.

203. how good I feel when I'm finished running
204. warm days in the middle of January
205. violin lessons that go well
206. being in the mall as it opens and watching all the lights go on and all the doors open in the stores

When I was in fourth grade my class had a miniature economy. Our currency was stickers and Volker Vouchers. Mrs. Volker was my teacher, hence the name of the Volker Vouchers. A Volker Voucher was worth 10 stickers. Money could be acquired in several ways. Stickers were awarded for doing well on a paper or a test. There were also many jobs for which one got paid (one Volker Voucher a week). To get a job you had to write out an application for the teacher to review. Each quarter jobs were reassigned. I was librarian for three quarters and accountant for one.

Being librarian meant that I got to put all the books in alphabetical order on the shelves, keep track of who had what book, and try to badger people into paying fines when they returned things late. It also meant that I got to keep a box of cards on my desk along with (and this is the best part) a stamp pad and date stamp. I don't know how or if I learned anything in fourth grade because I never paid attention. Instead I would create cutouts on the cards and make prints with the stamp pad on my papers. I dated all my papers with the date stamp. I quite often came home with ink all over me. But I had a grand time.

As accountant I kept track of "oops slips." People got 'oops' slips for turning in homework late, acting out in class, and a huge number of other things. When given an 'oops' slip a student had to answer four questions, the content of which I don't recall. If you finished the school year with no 'oops' slips, the teacher took you to Graeter's. There was more of a point than that to keeping track of such slips, but I don't remember that either.

After one saved up heir Vouchers and stickers, one could spend them at the Sticker Store. There were all sorts of things at the Sticker Store. In hindsight I can see that they were mostly junk, but in the eyes of a ten-year-old, they were treasures. I bought candy sometimes (candy was cheapest). My biggest purchases were a teddy bear with no eyes and this hideous gold fake-jeweled bracelet with all the paint chipping off. I glued iridescence marbles where the teddy bear's eyes used to be. It looked incredibly freaky, though I didn't think so at the time. I wore the bracelet continually for most of my fourth grade year (and got many "compliments," I might add).

Mostly, though, I bought notebooks. Notebooks cost 15 stickers. I often accumulated 20-30 stickers/Vouchers a week, which bought a lot of notebooks. I liked to buy brand new pencils to write in them with. If I did learn anything in fourth grade, it was because of these notebooks. These were my journals just before my first journal and I'm sorry that I kept so few of them. I wrote about everything from how boring math was, to how annoyed I was with a certain girl who I had to sit next to and be partners with for most of the year, to how unfair life was for a biracial girl in my class whose mother was blind and whose classmates made fun of her for everything. I'm not sure what happened to those notebooks, except for the one that I found when cleaning out my desk. Probably they were thrown out with the rest of my elementary school papers that I finally convinced myself to get rid of at the end of fifth grade. Oh well.

In the middle of the last quarter of fourth grade Mrs. Volker changed the Voucher's format to include a picture of her in the middle. I won a Voucher that week for being the member of the class to write out the most combinations of change that make a dollar and was awarded the first of the new Vouchers. I remember Mrs. Volker telling me that I should keep this one and frame it. I forgot that I even had it until a little while ago when I realized that it's under the glass cover on my dresser. It sent me on a trip down memory lane. Fourth grade was a fun year.

The end.

My family's computer (or at least the hard drive) has just died a very violent death. I'm currently on a laptop borrowed from NMPC (that my parents use for Sunday school stuff). I'm not sure what will happen with the computer, but I should have my laptop within the next 4-7 business days. Until then, I shall be learning patience and how to live without constant internet access.

On Friday I went to Jay and Sonya Valerio's wedding. (They were the couple on the front page of Friday's paper, which is cool, but beside the point.) This morning they were among our prayer requests at church and our associate pastor said that they send their greetings from the Bahamas (or wherever it was they went on their honeymoon). Someone in the congregation commented that they probably weren't at church this morning and Pastor Nancy said, "Yes, I imagine they're attending St. Married's of the Bed Sheets." It was funny. Dad says, "I bed she didn't say that at the 10:15 [traditional] service."

198. girls' nights
199. chick flicks+fantastic girls+chocolate highs=good times
200. goofing off with Kara at work
201. mint chocolate chip ice cream with crushed oreos
202. how obcessed Christina is with Chipotle (I introduced her to it, I'll have you know!)

This is why Heather rocks my socks off.

I just got home from a girls' night at Carly's. It was actually a sleepover, but I have to get up for work at 6:45 tomorrow, so wasn't able to stay. (And yes, I realize that I'm defeating the purpose of coming home by being on the computer at 12:30.) Those girls are amazing. Haha. Though doing so would mean endangering my life, I would love to record and publish some of our conversations. They're hilarious. But I'm afraid you'll just have to take my word for it.

Tonight we had pizza, played Taboo, talked about things I would hardly admit to, dipped strawberries and bananas and pretzels and marshmallows in a chocolate fountain, and watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I think I would not have liked the movie much at all except for the people I was watching it with. For us, it seemed oddly appropriate. And Brandae fell asleep holding onto my foot like a teddy bear. Haha.

As absolutely fantabulous as these girls' nights are, they are rather bittersweet. I'm becoming more and more aware of how limited our time together is before we all go our different directions. Graduation is creeping closer and closer. It's amazing to look back and see how much each of us has grown in the time we've known each other, but it seems so horribly cruel to take people at the age where they are just beginning to know who they are and where they fit in in society and steal them away from everything familiar-their whole support system- and make them start all over. If it's a crucible to test character, it's perhaps a bit premature. Or a bit late. I'm not sure which.

I think maybe that if I could make one wish it would be that everyone would feel about me exactly the same way I feel about them. That way the people I don't want to be around would stay away from me, and if I could somehow find a way to love everybody... everyone would love me back.

I'm having an odd, semi-philosophical, hormonalish teenage moment.

Wahoo!!!!! I've been trying for two hours to get to here. Everything was loading very, very slowly (especially Google related things), but then the magical Laura started talking to me on IM and suddenly everything worked perfectly. Go figure. Thanks, Laura. ;)

Of course now that I went through all that I don't have a whole lot to say. I applied for another credit card today and this time Dad co-signed with me, so I shouldn't have any trouble getting it. I find out in 7-10 business days and then I can order my laptop! I don't really want a credit card yet, though. Everyone keeps telling me it's a necessary evil of modern life. I plan to use it to buy this computer (which I shall pay off in about 2 months) and then stash it in a closet for awhile.

I was channel flipping this evening (while waiting for my email to load) and came across some show that was audition tapes for a "reality" show. The audition crew were asking "beautiful" girls questions like "What is the square root of 100?" and "Who is the vice president of the US?" But my favorite is this:
Interviewer: Can you name two of the seven continents?
Girl: (blank stare) ...(mumbling) this always was my worst subject
Interviewer: Can you name one continent?
Girl: (more silence) Can someone tell... I can't remember what a continent is.

This one is good too:
Interviewer: What is the sun?
Girl: Duh! Everyone knows that. It's a planet like Earth or Mars or the moon. It's just... all on fire and stuff and too hot to live on.

* * * * *

Mom, yesterday morning while doing school with Lisa (and both of them were eating breakfast):
"Well, here we are. Another day; another cheese stick."

Dad is walking on the treadmill and channel flipping:
"Ah look, C-Span... lots of people walking around... our government at work."

My computer is crap. I had typed a few paragraphs and was, indeed, nearly finished, when something odd happened. All the programs I had open closed and the internet disconnected. Everything seems to be working properly, but I lost my blog entry and all the websites that I had so carefully lined up and was comparing. Fortunately, my Word document was rescued. Also fortunately, I shall have a nice and new computer in my possession very soon. I hope.

I am doing absolutely nothing tomorrow. That is to say, there is no pink on the calendar. (Pink is the assigned "Christy's activities color"). I did have orchestra, but it was cancelled because Finneytown has exams. I was going skiing with Learning Tree people, but it's rainy and warm so the trip was pushed back a couple of weeks. I did have P1^4, but it was cancelled due to exams and (I believe) pep band playing at the Finneytown vs Wyoming basketball game. Of course, I still have some school to do, though not a lot since co-ops don't start for another two weeks. Tomorrow I plan to sleep late, do the schoolwork that I need to do, and read a ton. I'm reading so many things these days. Primarily I am reading Mere Christianity, but I am also actively working on St. Augustine's Confessions, The Aeneid, Portrait of a Lady (which isn't boring or anything, but I've been having a horrible time getting through it) and several different children's books that Lisa keeps giving me and saying, "Christy, you have to read this!" Mostly I read them to amaze her with how fast I can read. He. Some of them are really good, though. The Little Prince, for example.

I have just remembered that I washed my sheets today and haven't put them back on my bed yet. That means they will be cold. I'd better collect all the cats and get them to warm the bed up for me. He.

For about as long as I can remember I have wanted to write down my dreams every day so that I may remember them later. For one reason or another, I never have. For this purpose, I have created yet another blog, To sleep, perchance to dream. This was created completely for my own benefit, but I thought I should let my faithful readership in on it in case they are interested in what goes on in my head at night. Enjoy if you wish, ignore if you don't.

This is Nubia, the seven-year-old Nicaraguan girl that I sponsor through Compassion International. For Christmas I sent her $10 and with that she bought the dress and ponytail twisties she is wearing and the umbrella and cologne she is holding. It's absolutely amazing how far $10 can go in a third world country. I like that she's smiling in this picture. In the last picture Compassion sent me, she was just kind of staring off into space. It's so nice to see that the check I send off every month is actually helping to accomplish something.

I had an adventure this afternoon. I intended to simply to get my hair cut (in Harrison). I'd never driven out there before, so Mom gave me very direct instructions. I got there with no problems, got my hair cut, and started to drive home. Everything was going wonderfully and then a sign appeared that said "Welcome to Cincinnati" and suddenly I was downtown. Oops. So I called my mother (thank goodness for cell phones!) and she directed me to a place that I am familiar with and (over an hour after I left the salon) I was able to find my way home. The good side of this is that I am now slightly more familiar with the downtown area. Maybe I should start losing myself regularly, and soon I'll know the whole city like the back of my hand.

It's time for bed. Have a nice sleep! And for any Finneytown people who read this before Wednesday, I wish you the very best of luck on your exams.

"My pastor is a huge Steelers fan. We're never going to hear the end of this."

Or

"My pastor is a huge Steelers. He's never going to hear the end of this."

~Hamlet

I dream a lot. Most of my dreams make little sense or I don't remember them. Many of my dreams are quite entertaining. A few days ago I drempt that I was at a family reunion in some incredibly beautiful tropical place with a whole bunch of waterfalls. Except that my family wasn't really my family and consisted of a whole bunch of random people that I know, like a guy who used to be in Sunday school with me in elementary school (who I haven't seen in years) and nearly the whole Finneytown viola section. I very, very rarely have "bad" dreams. That is to say, I can't remember the last time I have actually woken up from a dream frightened. Last night I had the following dream (I have absolutely no clue what could have triggered it):

I was in the family room with my dad just before I went up to bed when suddenly the three outside walls of the room turned into glass. Outside were five or six zombies, all of whom were once people I knew in daily life (though not people that I actually know in real life). I don't know what zombies are actually supposed to look like, but these looked like army men dressed in (thick) rags and wearing grotesque gas masks. They all had some sort of blast gun that (now, from a waking perspective) looked very fake. Dad and I watched as they walked around our yard and slaughtered all our neighbors (who for some reason were all in our yard) and then started toward our house. Dad had called 911 and was telling the dispatcher everything that was going on: "They're cutting open the dog. Now they're throwing the bodies all over the jungle gym!" It was disgusting. Then the zombies realized that they could see us in the house, so they started walking toward us, but they couldn't get through the glass. They turned their guns on the house and Dad yelled into the phone, "They're going to vaporize the walls! They're going to get in!" And the 911 dispatcher said, "Well, uh... good luck with that," and hung up. That's when I awoke, all sweaty and completely freaked out. As soon as I open my eyes, I see two glowing orbs right above my face, which turned out to be Mia sitting on my chest, but it freaked me out even more. And then I fell asleep again and completely forgot about the whole thing until this morning.


At work today Paula asked me what I would choose as my theme song, or rather, the song I would want to play whenever I walked into a room. Apparently she's compiling a list or something. I thought long and hard about it, and I think that those are two very different things. Choosing a theme song is easy: For the Moments I Feel Faint by Relient K. I wouldn't want that to play whenever I entered a room, however. For that I tenatively pick (after thinking long and hard about it) Happy by Matthew West. But ask me tomorrow and I'd probably pick a different one.


This afternoon, while watching football:
Dad: What's that noise?
Me: That's a CD of a stream and nature sounds that Mom's playing.
Dad: It sounds like a machine gun

I played some Euchre with my family and then I drank some tea and checked my email and now I'm going to bed. What a Friday night.

I started writing a story this afternoon. I haven't written any fiction in awhile. It was great fun. I don't know exactly where the inspiration came from (though now that I think on it, it was probably from The Cronicles of Narnia which I finished recently) but I started writing and just kept on writing pages and pages for about two and a half hours. The story was about a boy named Clarence (which is a horrid name, but I said, 'Boy, what is your name?' and he said, 'Clarence,' so I said, 'Clarence it is.') and his cousin ('Step-cousin, really,' Clarence informed me) Janie who discovered a magic book. I wrote all about how they got the book and then how they discover that the book is magic and how get it open (which took some work), but when it came to what was actually in the book, I got stuck. I hope that Clarence decides to tell me sooner or later, because I'm very curious.

I spent about an hour today chasing my Latin book across town. Actually, the book didn't move, so I guess I was more seeking it than chasing it. My dear mother accidentally "returned" it to the library, except that it was not a return, for it did not belong to the library. So I had to call several different branches and then, once I located it, drive to get it. But there were no parking spots in the library's lot, so I had to park on the other side of the block and walk. (I didn't mind the walk, though, for it was quite nice outside today.) By the time I got home I hardly felt like studying Latin (but I did anyway.)

Mom bought a whole slew of salad dressings today and, as I ate my salad with dinner, I noticed that not one of them had the little flow-control cap that most all of them used to have. Do the salad dressing manufacturers think that we have become more talented dressing pourers? Mom says it's probably a cost-cutting measure. The author of The Little Prince would say that that is one of the boring, sensible explanations that grown-ups would come up with. The Little Prince himself might rather say that a very shaky-handed race from another planet needed them more than we Earth-humans do, and so the took them, or that a colony of moles had discovered the circular caps in the factory and was not stealing them before they could be put in the salad dressing bottles and using them for wheels on their mining carts. I, by the way, highly recommend The Little Prince to all those who have or who are in danger of becoming too grown up. I read it in about 45 minutes last night (yes, while I should have been sleeping). Read the old (Katherine Woods) translation, if you can get your hands on it. It's much more poetic.

Laura: I started a list, but it was a bad list, so I deleted it. I think I'm not that smart. At least, I'm not that smart on this little sleep. :)

We have a name! SIC is now P1^4, as in "P one to the fourth" or "p one four" or any other variation you come up with. That is short for Psalm 111:1, which says "Praise the Lord! I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with his godly people."

It makes me so angry when people hurt my friends! Grr! It makes me want to go beat them up. Except that, of course, I'm much smaller and weaker than most of the people I'd try to fight. So perhaps I'll just write spitefully about them in my journal instead.

"What does that mean- 'tame'?"
"It means to establish ties."
"'To establish ties'?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you would tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you would be unique in all the world..."
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower... I think she that she has tamed me..."

191. children's literature
192. days of beautiful weather in the middle of January
193. freshly-washed bedsheets
194. P1^4
195. my wood pen
196. ellipses...
197. dictionary.com

Six-thirty comes even earlier on the second day...

Ol' Mel turned 50 today. But you probably knew that already. Isn't he chief of your Indian tribe? Or was that Aragorn? Hehe. Good times.

I spent an hour at work today cutting and squeezing lemons. I like doing lemons, because it's easy and I don't have to talk to anyone (which is especially nice after a busy lunch rush). There is always music playing in the back and, because of the wide variety of people who work there, some of it is quite interesting. Today someone was playing a mix of -no joke- Mario Brothers theme music. The guy who brought it (a college student home on winter break) apparently enjoyed it very much. He told me all about how they listen to it in his dorm and about a music video that some guy made of himself playing Mario video games blindfolded. He also played a compilation of some incredibly odd-sounding "music" that, if it could be described, sounded something like Happy Bunny rapping (or at least, how I imagine Happy Bunny rapping would sound). I'm just glad that I don't live in this guy's dorm.

Six-thirty tomorrow morning is going to come waaaay too quickly. Whose idea was it that high schoolers should start classes so early?

186. watching football with my family
187. sleeping late
188. cheap books
189. my cat
190. hot soup

I can't believe I have sunk this low.

My web locations now include:

Livejournal
Xanga
Blogger
MySpace
Coming Soon: My Hum Page (The current site was designed by my dad. My revision of it will hopefully be available soon, but my computer currently refuses to do what is required to put in online.)

I am very envious of people who can, in a few simple words, describe something in an amusing way without the least bit of ambiguity. Take Chris Rice for example. He has such a unique way of saying things, but they always make sense in a sometimes funny, sometimes mysterious, poetic kind of way.

This is pretty close to the poem/prayer I've been trying to write ever since I first held a pen:

Fresh page, new pen
Where do I begin
Words fail, tears come
I need someone
To take the thoughts I almost think
And carry them to God for me

Deep breath, exhale
Breathe in deeper still
Long sigh, I’m still numb
Is there anyone
Who can find the things I’m barely feeling
And give them wings beyond my ceiling?

Right heart, wrong place
It’s too far to outer space
Sorry, I forgot, You’re right here
I cup my hands around Your ear
I feel you smile, You feel my breath
You listen while I whisper non-sense

Simple exchange
Your will, I’m changed
And now my prayer ends
Thank You, Amen.

Any powers of speech that I once had are slowly leaving me. I'm developing a grand talent for mixing up words. Observe:

"Scott didn't really have breakfast this morning. He just had some frosted wini-meats in the car."
This led Scott to believe that he was really eating Pooh Bear.

"Why do the moments that most require speech leave the blain breakest?"
At this particular moment, speech was no longer required, as laughter broke the akward silence that words didn't.

"and I don't feel any different."
~The New Year, Death Cab for Cutie

When I left Laura's house about 30 minutes ago that song started playing in my car. I hadn't even realized that that cd was in my cd player. I found it a bit ironic.

Happy New Year everyone. Two thousand and six. Wow. The year's end snuck up on me this time around.

181. Friends to celebrate a new year with
182. Friends who stick around, even when things change
183. A God who promises to go before me and follow after me (Isaiah 52:12, I think)
184. Sparkling grape juice
185. Me and Heather at Asbury together. Hooray!