a vestige of thought...

Sunday, July 30, 2006

P&P: Mr. Bingley's Return

Family: "Hum dee dum dum dum."
Kitty: "Look- out the window! Mr. Bingley is back! Oh, but he has that other fellow with him. What was his name? The proud disagreeable fellow with the light saber."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy?"
Kitty: "Yes, I think that's right."
Mrs. Bennet: "Mr. Darcy! What was Bingley thinking bringing around a disagreeable man like that? I'm always afraid he's going to lop someone's head off with that glowing stick thing. He's never going to get married if he keeps carrying that thing around! But- if our Bingley likes him, then we shall be absolutely civil to him. That's right! Absolutely civil."

Elizabeth: "Jane, dear, are you going to be alright?"
Jane: "Yes, Lizzy, I think so. I do not fear my own feelings, only what others would expect of me."
Elizabeth: "Then you do not love him anymore?"
Jane: "I-"
Door opens...

Mrs. Bennet: "Oooh! Mr. Bingley! How good it is to see you again. We had all begun to despair that you were never to set foot at Netherfield again! But of course, I never doubted you. I knew you would come back! Did I not say so often, Lizzy? Yes, I said, he will come back and when he does he will be most welcome to come to Longbourne as often as he pleases! Ooh yes. *pause* Mr. Darcy. Of course you are always welcome too."
Mr. Bingley:"I'm so glad I am able to return. It is so lovely here."
Mrs. Bennet: "Yes it certainly is! Especially with my Jane here, don't you think?"
Mr. Bingly: "Yes indeed. Mrs. Bennet, might I have a moment alone with Jane?"
Mrs. Bennet: "But of course! Everyone, out! Out! Take your time Mr. Bingley."

Mr. Bingley: "Miss Bennet, I wonder if I might, um, that is, I wonder if you would, uh, well, see..."
Jane: "Yes?"
Mr. Bingley kneels: "Miss Bennet, I wonder if you would do me the honor of sharing my trophy with me... that is... will you marry me?"
Jane: "Of course! Yes! Yes! ...Can I hold the flag too?"

Mrs. Bennet: "Ooh Jane! Ooh Bingley! I am so happy! Two daughters married! And one quite wealthy! Oh it is a situation most devoutly to be wished! Congratulations my dear."
Jane: "Mr. Bingley, are you quite certian you want to marry me and with the risk of living with a mother-in-law like that?"
Bingley: "It is quite alright my dear. I'm already looking into purchasing an estate quite a distance from Longbourne."
Jane: "Excellent."
posted by Christy at 4:19 PM


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