a vestige of thought...
Sunday, July 30, 2006
P&P: Lady Catherine Visits
Mary: "La dee da dee da dee da dee daaaaa, la de daaaa, la de daaaa..."
Mrs. Bennet: "Oh Mary can't you sit quietly for five minutes together together?! Have some compassion for my poor nerves!"
Mary: "But it's the *think system*! I have to do this all day!"
Kitty: "Look! Oh come quickly for there is such a sight to be seen! Look at the carriage!"
Elizabeth: "It's Lady Catherine!"
Lady Catherine: "Hello Miss Bennet. What a small house you have."
Elizabeth: "Lady Catherine-"
Lady Catherine: "And these, I suppose, are your family. How very short they all are."
Elizabeth: "Your Ladyship-"
Lady Catherine: "This must be a most inconvenient sitting room in the summer. The windows are full west!"
Elizabeth: "Yes but-"
Lady Catherine: "There seems to be a prettyish sort of little wilderness on one side of your park, Miss Bennet. I wonder if you would take a turn about it with me."
Lady Catherine: "Let me state myself plainly: Not only are you poor and ugly, but your family completely lack any form of good breeding. Your sisters are silly, one of them is a loose woman, your mother is a fool, and your father has absolutely no connections. You are too opinionated. You do not deserve to walk the good green earth. What the heck are you doing becoming engaged to my nephew?!"
Elizabeth: "Your Ladyship, I do not know where you hear such rumors, but your nephew and I have no formal attachment."
Lady Catherine: "Reeeeeeally. And will you promise never to enter into such an arrangement?"
Elizabeth: "I will do no such thing."
Lady Catherine: "Selfish, headstrong girl! No good will come of this, you will see. Goodbye! I take no leave of you and send no compliments to your mother. Shame!"
Elizabeth: "Uh, goodbye. Oh my. This is most perplexing."