a vestige of thought...
Saturday, July 29, 2006
#26 Mr. Darcy's Proposal
Charlotte: "Are you sure you're alright? Should I stay with you?"
Elizabeth: "I'll be fine, it's just a small headache. Go, both of you, and enjoy your time at Rosings."
Elizabeth: "A knock at the door? Who can that be?"
Elizabeth: "Mr. Darcy!"
Mr. Darcy: "I can't stand it any longer. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
Elizabeth: "Your hand is gone!"
Mr. Darcy: "I didn't want to propse with a weapon in my hand, but they're stuck together."
Elizabeth: "Oh. You seem awfully short today."
Mr. Darcy: "Yes. Er, would you mind picking me up so that we could speak face to face about this?"
Elizabeth: "I guess so."
Mr. Darcy: "Ok, thanks. Now, I know it's totally beneath me and your family are all crackpots (yourself and Jane excluded) and my family will hate me for it and it's just in general a bad idea for everyone involved, but I have decided to let you marry me."
Mr. Darcy: "Ouch! Why did you do that?!"
Elizabeth: "What gave you the idea that I even wanted to marry you? You said you love me, but securing your love has long been the farthest thing from my mind."
Mr. Darcy: "So you're refusing me?"
Elizabeth: "Uh, yeah!"
Mr. Darcy: "(thinking) Come on, light saber. (saying) "But why? Aren't I handsome and wonderful and rich and all the things women hope for in a man?"
Elizabeth: "Yeah, not to mention proud, rude, condescending and generally insulting to all those you come in contact with. I'll not even mention your conduct toward Jane and Mr. Bingley and poor Mr. Wickham. Plus, you've got a weapon stuck to your hand, which is generally creepy"
Mr. Darcy: "Bingley! Wickham!"
Mr. Darcy: "Fine! I will leave you now. Don't try to follow me! I've got my hand and my weapon back!"
Elizabeth: "Right, like I'd want to follow you."