a vestige of thought...
Saturday, July 29, 2006
#16: The Netherfield Ball
Mr. Bingley: "Welcome to my ball! I'm glad you are here. Have fun. Yay."
Elizabeth (to Jane): "Do you see Mr. Wickham?"
Denny: "Miss Elizabeth, I have a message for you. Mr. Wickham was unfortunately called suddenly to town on urgent business and will be unable to make it this evening. Although (*under his breath*) I'm sure it would not be quite so urgent if he did not wish to avoid a certain *other* gentleman.
Elizabeth is dismayed.
Mr. Darcy: "Miss Elizabeth, may I have the honor of the next dance with you? I will even put down my light saber."
Elizabeth: "I, um, okay." Thinks: "Why in the world did I agree to that?"
Elizabeth: "I thought you were going to put the light saber down."
Mr. Darcy: "It seems to be molded into my hand. I promise to be careful, though."
Elizabeth: "So, uh, I said something, now you say something."
Darcy: "What should I say?"
Elizabeth: "Whatever you want."
Darcy: "What if I don't want to?"
Elizabeth: "Then don't, I guess. My goodness you are confusing."
Mrs. Bennet (loudly): "Yes, it is going to be a very good match! And not only for Jane. Her marriage will put my girls in the paths of *other* rich men!"
Elizabeth is embarrassed.
Mary (singing loudly and very badly): "Would you like to swing on a staaaaaaar, carry moonbeams home in a jaaaaaaar..."
Elizabeth is distressed.
Mr. Collins: "It is my wish, cousin Elizabeth, to remain with you the rest of the evening."
Elizabeth is disgusted.
Mr. Bingley: "Jane, you are so good."
Jane: "No, Mr. Bingley, YOU are good."
Bingley: "Surely, Jane, only you are good."
Jane: "You are certainly more good than me."
Elizbeth: "Oh! It seems to be everyone's dearest wish to humiliate me this evening! At least Jane is having a good time."
Bingley: "Does this mean the ball is over?"