a vestige of thought...

Friday, November 10, 2006

I feel like I should attempt to list a fraction of all the many, many things I have learned since coming to Asbury. Sure, I've learned academic things. Before coming here I didn't know the difference between schizphrenia and dissociative identity disorder (DID) or that third declension adjectives generally take an -i ending in the ablative singular. And I've learned 'life' sorts of things, like one hour of work in the library is equivalent to three hours of work in my dorm room, and while one setting on the washer will get my clothes wet, another similar (yet apparently different) setting will actually get them clean. But the beauty of Asbury is the spiritual learning that goes on here. I hardly know where to begin. Here are a few of the things that I have learned and attempted to translate into something that makes sense.

1. I am learning to listen. Not just for big things like going from public school to homeschooling or choosing a college and/or career, but for small things as well. Sometimes it is how to pray for someone, or something I ought to do or say. The amazing part is not the hearing or the obeying, but how God responds to and multiplies one tiny act of obedience!

2. Serving. I have come to see the difference between serving in your life and having a life of service. The former involves living daily life and here and there serving God in one way or another. The latter involved a complete surrender to God each moment, trusting Him for the next step and not counting on that step to be necessarily visible before taking it. It means listening and being open to going anywhere He asks or staying in the place He chooses. My "plans" are not my own. I think, in that respect, God has blessed me by not really giving me any. If I don't have plans, I don't have to change them when he directs me to something.

3. Faith is more than a noun. It is also more than repeating the Apostle's Creed. It is at attitude of trust that is carried out in obedience. I may come back to this one at another time.

4. I am unnecessary. God doesn't need me. If I don't care to obey, God will use someone else to accomplish His work. I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to be used by Him!

5. Life is so unfair. The thing is, it's unfair in my favor. I cannot for the life of me understand why I have been blessed with so much- tangible and intangible- when others, both here and around the world, have so much less. I know that "[from] everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more (Luke 12:48)." I wish I knew what more I could do to balance the fairness of this life.

I could drone on for quite awhile longer, but I have class. Valete!
posted by Christy at 12:45 PM


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