a vestige of thought...

Monday, July 10, 2006

Howareyouarehow?

It's funny to sit here and listen to people having all sorts of phone conversations that all begin with "Hello" followed by a close variation of "How are you?" The question is as much an expected part of the conversation as the initial greeting, as is the "good" or "fine" that inevitably follows. No one ever asks anything else, and no one ever gives any other response. I had a discussion once (with Heather maybe?) about the stupidity of this custom. If you don't really care how the other person is, why waste breath asking and taking away from the meaning of the question when someone asks it genuinely? Therefore, I propose a change. Instead of "How are you?" why not try one of the following*:

How's it shakin' [bacon]?
How's the tweedle twopping?
What's your endorphin level?
How are your brain waves transmitting today?
How is your dog? (Animals moods often reflect their human's, after all)
Where's the wind blowing you today?
Would you like some orange juice?
How's your brain-weather?
Happy birthday!

Or instead of "fine/good:"

Peachy
Lovely
Grandiose
Pink
Green
Orange (etc.)
Shut up (don't overuse that or people won't talk to you)
Ish
Bashful, grumpy, sleepy, sneezy, etc. (Doc?)
Swimmingly
Swergishly (If you don't want to say something negative, why not make it up?)
Studious
"How am I what?"

If all else fails, just say "swimming pool!" My elementary school music teacher told me that "swimming pool" rhymes with anything and it is the correct answer to any question.

*Following my advice will likely have one of two results. People will a) think you're nuts or b) smile and relax a little.

Have a sunshiny day. :)
posted by Christy at 2:53 PM

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